I was freed when I had this revelation. It all started with a conversation with my mom. We were talking about my son. He’s only a few months old, and is all about beating, tearing and ripping everything apart. She said I was nothing like that. Although I was tomboyish, I was very nurturing at his age. Girls must be naturally more loving and nurturing. No one taught me to be gentle and caring. No one taught him to see how strong he was against everything he can hold. That must be a part of nature.
From that one conversation I went on a mental journey thinking different things about boys and girls. I ended up at the scriptures that tell wives to be in submission to their husbands. Many women cringe at those scriptures. You know the Bible tells both husbands and wives to be in submission to each other. “Be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” (Ephesians 5:21) So why are there separate scriptures pointing to women specifically? Let’s read them.
Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, … Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.
What did it tell these scriptures tell the husbands to do? It told them to love their wives. Who loves others more easily, men or women? Women. Just like my mom comparing me as an infant to my son, girls are the loving, nurturing, caring ones. So that’s why the Apostle Paul tells men to love their wives. This is not what comes naturally to them. They need to be reminded of this, because they could let that slip. So that means, what he tells the wives is NOT what comes naturally to THEM. He tells wives to submit. We are not the naturally submissive ones! What?!
Think about it. When a new couple gets married, who chooses the wedding colors? The bride. Why? If you ask the groom what colors, styles, etc. he usually answers, “Whatever you want, honey, as long as you’re happy.” When they go out to eat, and the wife asks the husband where he wants to go, he normally says something like, “It doesn’t matter, where ever you want to go.” Not always, but many times the wife names the kids, decorates the house, plans dinners, entertainment for the family, etc. Husbands easily yield these decisions over to their wives. Wives don’t yield, or submit so easily. We’re the ones that have a problem with submission. It is not that we are supposed to submit more than the husbands, we just have a problem with it!
I was so freed when I understood this. My whole life I thought it was supposed to be my nature to submit because I was a girl. I struggled with trying to be submissive because that was becoming for a woman. I felt guilty because it was not easy. It’s not supposed to be easy! Yes, we need to work on being submissive in all things, but I shouldn’t feel guilty when it is not easy. It’s easier for men to submit than for women. We need the reminder because we can let that slip.
Be free ladies. Submission is something for you to work on like all other things, not something that comes natural.